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This two kid thing is kinda hard.

September 6, 2010

So, I’m not really one for complaining on the blog. I keep things up-beat for the most part because let’s face it- we all have problems. I don’t really want to share too much about any of mine because I know other people are going or have gone through things that are a lot worse, so airing my dirty laundry seems silly. I guess that means, though, that sometimes I may portray my life to be easy and perfect. I’m sure you know this but just in case you don’t, here’s a newsflash- it’s not! Imagine that!

The past 6 months have been some of the hardest we’ve gone through as a couple and as a family. We have been through many seasons of highs and lows, and this has definitely been a valley. If moving and having a baby weren’t enough to cause some strife, try adding on all of the issues we’ve had with our new house and the financial and emotional stress of me quitting my job- and I’d say this has been a tough few months. You’d think we’d be on top of the world- having the kids we dreamed of having, moving to a new house, the chance for me to stay home and raise our kids- but man, Satan sure knows when and how to make it hard to find joy in the blessings God gives.

We’ve had many conversations recently just about how hard it is to have two kids. Not one but two random couples two different times at church have seen us walking in with our 2 bags, purse, bibles, coffee, and kids and stops us to ask us how far apart in age they are. Then they go on to tell us theirs are the same age difference, but now that they’re 2 and 4 or 4 and 6, things are so much easier. Both couples encouraged us to “hang in there”. What’s the reason they stopped and talked to us? Because THEY KNOW. This parenting thing is HARD WORK. And, they know it gets better. Right now, it seems like we can’t get out the door on time. Then, we always forget something and have to turn back around. Then, we finally get to a destination (late, of course), unload all of our kids/bags/stuff, and then something else always happens. A yucky blow-out diaper (oh, and we have no wipes! YES!). A 2 year old throwing a fit at the table (with everyone staring!). The list just goes on. No one tells you before you have a baby that this is hard. You just want a baby and you think it will be all smiles and fun- and then the baby comes and it becomes the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

I was recently talking to a new mom of twin girls (bless her heart, y’all) who also decided to stay home this school year instead of teaching like she’s done for the past seven years. Both being in the midst of having a newborn (or two in her case), we admitted to each other that although we love, love, love our babies, the newborn stage is just awful. If you love that stage, good for you, but I happen to think it is rough. The lack of sleep. The breastfeeding difficulties. The reflux. The spit-up. The diapers- ohhh the diapers. The shushing and the rocking and the swaddling. While I know I will miss all of it someday, it is just hard. Don’t get me wrong; there are great moments. Moments I will cherish forever. But, it is hard.

So, we have the newborn stage going on- and I think I’ve established that I think that’s hard. We also have had many issues with our house. Basically, we feel like we got scammed. We love our house and everything is going to be fine, but we have had lots of issues that weren’t found in the initial inspection. We’ve had to spend thousands of dollars that we really didn’t need to spend on plumbing, AC, electrical work, etc. We have been reminded many times this summer that God provides everything we need and He will continue to do so. It has made us both depend on Him more than ever. I wonder if that was part of His plan? :-)

Quitting work has been tough as well. I loved my job, school, boss, co-workers, and kids so much, so when the first week of school came and went and I wasn’t a part of it, reality hit. I am so thankful to be able to stay home with my kids. There are so many moments in the day where I thank God that I get to be here for everything. But, I have always been a career-driven kind of girl. I pursued a college degree at A&M, then started working, then found a career that I loved, then went back to school for my Masters. When I was younger, I never saw myself as a full-time mom. I have always wanted to have a successful career. All of that to say, I have been going down one path for so long, to switch and do something completely different is just going to take some time getting used to.

Though we are in a difficult season, we have had so many blessings. We have enjoyed lots of fun times with family and friends. We have started going to a new church after a six month (way too long) hiatus. We are getting closer to joining a small community group there, and we are excited about all that has to bring. God has provided for our financial needs with all of the house issues. And, He is still working to do many more things for His glory. I am starting BSF next week, and I know I’ll be learning a lot from God studying the book of Isaiah. He is also working to strengthen our marriage. Although I would say that it’s always been good, we have really learned to lean on each other more than ever these last few months.

So, I guess I’m writing all of this to say that life is hard. Whatever season you are in, good or bad, life is just plain hard. But, thanks be to Him that He is our Rock and that He continues to pour blessings on His children, even in the tough times.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 7, 2010 10:03 am

    Yep, I agree. Life is hard, but I wouldn’t change having kids for the world! Hopefully one day I can quit my “career” and stay at home; there is nothing like it!
    You are correct in that God will bring us through it no matter what, we just have to lean on Him. We have been through hard times in our marriage that I never, ever want to repeat again, but I think it made us closer to eachother in the long run.

  2. September 7, 2010 1:46 pm

    Amen!! Love the blog post and soooooo agree with all of it! I will call you soon so we can play to get together :)

  3. Pam permalink
    September 8, 2010 7:27 pm

    Thanks for sharing this. Very good points, which are helpful to everyone in the trenches (everyone!). I agree about the newborn stage. Now we have teenagers, which is a different kind of challenge. People always told us that having young children is physically draining, and having teens is emotionally draining. Agreed! SO GLAD you are going to BSF! It changed my life!

    Pam

  4. September 9, 2010 10:54 pm

    I love you sis! I promise it DOES get tons easier, and you WILL think = wow that when by soooo fast. But it’s impossible to do it now. SO take things MOMENT by MOMENT and breathe! And just wait – my girls are FINALLY able to handle ALL of BATH TIME by themselves with minimal help from me – really I just make sure they’re clean after it’s over:) Now this is something to LOOK FORWARD to!!

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